Archives for category: News

Erm, she knows she’s not actually nude here, doesn’t she?

Rihanna, the self proclaimed “Only girl in the world”, has release a fragrance called “Nude” with notes of (ADD THESE IN LATER BUT ITS PROBABLY SOME SWEET FRUITY SHIT)

According to this article on Examiner.com, Rihanna naming her new fragrance ‘Nude’ is something that will “doom this product before it is truly given a chance”.

Part one of their three-part argument is:

Strike one: Been there, done that in 1990 when a fragrance named, “Nude” was launched from the Bill Blass design house. Estee Lauder currently offers a fragrance named, “Sensuous Nude.” Does anyone recall buying either of them?

Scentbitch would like to say that Examiner.com is wrong. Rihanna naming her fragrance “Nude” is sheer genius

Picture the scenario:

Sad Teen 1: There's these, like, naked pictured of rihanna on teh internets*
Sad Teen 2: Wickeds, lets do Bing** search for "rihanna nude"
Sad Teen 1: Awe man!*** There's just lots of bottles of perfume coming up...

So in the future anyone looking for the alleged nude images of Rihanna will just be faced with lots of bottles of perfume.

We look forward to Parlux, rushing out “Sex Tape” for Paris Hilton; and Arden drawing up a list of fragrances for the next ten years for Britney Spears.

* Disclaimer: Scentbitch don’t know what how young people speak like these days. We’re approximating from listening on teh Subway/Tube/Metro****
** We don’t know what Bing is either. We still use Alta Vista
*** © copyright Swiper / Nickelodeon 2000
**** False clues

Madonna has gone nude in the ad for her next scent, aptly named Naked (the inevitable flanker to Truth or Dare), and everyone in the world wishes she’d just put it away for goodness sake.

Even the Huffington Post is finding it hard to give a shit. At least she isn’t thrusting her crotch at us any more.

We’re looking forward to seeing her photoshopped into some clothes for the ad in the Middle East.

Notes are said to include Honeysuckle, Peach Blossom, Neroli, Sensual Vanilla Orchid, Cocoa Flower, Lily of the Valley, Texas Cedarwood, Oud Wood Accord, and “Sandalwood Australia” (sic). Available now from Macy’s in the USA.

(Sidebar: No mention of Tuberose or Gardenia – did her Madgesty have anything to do with this one?)

Loving the heart dotting the i. <3 x

Twiggy, most famous for her portrayal of Cinderella at the Casino Theatre in 1974 (obviously), and proving that older women are still allowed on the TV in ads for UK high street chain Marks & Spencer, is launching a perfume in conjunction with the Home Shopping Network in the US.

Notes are said to include “Golden fruits, gardenia, orange flower, precious jasmine absolute, patchouli, rich amber and smoky musk”.

Sadly they missed the opportunity of cashing in on a “twig accord”.

Twiggy is now in her 60s and is at the height of her popularity.

The scent is available from HSN in the US.

Maybe it’s like Dr.Who and just regenerates?

Coming soon to a teenage boy’s locker room is the latest Lynx or Axe bug body spray, Apollo. The name was previously used for a Lynx fragrance in the nineties.

The new Apollo is available now over in the UK, but the advertising commercial won’t air until next year. Scentbitch is guessing: half-naked girl, geeky dude and implausible sexual chemistry between the two of them.

Dr Ian White pissed off Tania Sanchez, co-Author of Perfumes The Guide

Dr Ian White is clearly an Asshole

Recently the EU regulations which would limit the use of oakmoss, rose, and citrus oils, as well as Lyral, have been reported in several newspapers as a threat to perfume formulae – specifically in relation Chanel No 5.

This recently upset Tania Sanchez who reacted in a sufficiently snarky tone that we at ScentBitch would be proud of. We might have put a few more swears in, though.

Thierry Mugler A*Men Pure Malt - relaunched and available once again. eBay gougers cried.

“Exciting” news: Thierry Mugler have relaunched their inexplicably lusted after flanker, A*Men Pure Malt.

Fanboys immediately masturbated themselves into a frenzy. No news yet whether eBayers will say they have intentionally reformulated it, to create an even bigger buzz about the original and keep the return on their “investments”.

Hopefully everyone will just calm the fuck down and remember that A*Men is much better.

 

In conjunction with Elizabeth Arden, “Stupid Hoe” hitmaker Nicki Minaj has released a horrifying perfume bottle, containing a potentially equally horrifying fragrance.

Whilst the bottle is reminiscent of Michael Jackson turning into a robot in Moonwalker, the scent is described as “an intoxicating floral musk”.

Notes include Starfruit, Italian Mandarin, Boysenberry, Lotus Flower, Jasmine Petals, Vanilla, Carmelized Pear, Musks and Woods .

Available at all good retailers that you normally buy this celebushite from.